It was one of the darkest period of my entire life. I cannot put in words or explain the anxiety, pain, anguish. I was rendered helpless. Sad. Unhappy. Willing to get onto a flight, always going out of the city… and walking passively in the streets of other cities with not anything to say to anyone. Sometimes, not even willing to get out of my bed from my hotel room. Moreover, I really was not able to share my state with anyone. I was finding excuses for my meetings. The only thing in which I found comfort was sleeping on a long-haul flight, waking up in a city where I did not have to deal with people.
The above statement was made by Karan Johar in a candid chat with Barkha Dutt on NDTV.
He boldly mentioned that he was in a critical and a vulnerable state during his period of depression. The 44-year-old director said that he was seeking for help and taking medication and only quit it about three months back.
Karan said that that he has always been able to resolve all of his issues internally. He also spoke in length about how he carried the baggage of his past and the fear of coming future while dealing with several panic and anxiety attacks. At one very stressful point in his life, he felt so uneasy handling with the depression that he was led into thinking that he was dealing with a cardiac arrest.
He opened up about this issue further and said that it was quite difficult to evaluate whether the love and equation he shared with various people from the film industry was genuine or solely for the sake of the film.
“When you are aged 44 and constantly feeling lonely and are not in a relationship, it makes you feel worried. Because all the success that you have achieved throughout means nothing if you are unable to take it to someone else.”
Howeve, the good news is that after the period of medication he feels that the zing is returning and he doesn’t feel directionless anymore.
The solution to this is that Johar has been able to make peace with his problem of not having a life partner at this crucial stage. He has believes in ‘So what’ philosophy. He said that there are various other things to help you find happiness in life.
In the past, Deepika Padukone also opened up about battle with depression. After her depression period, she started an NGO to help people improve their mental state, called the Live, Love, Laugh foundation.